Christmas Time

I love Christmas. I love the music, movies, decorating, wrapping gifts, and even the hectic shopping part of it. It finally snowed today and having that along with being surrounded by the tree and lights has brought up old Christmas memories for me.

I'll admit, Christmas was better when I was a kid. The past few years have been a little dull, but no matter what I still try to make the most of it. I remember one Christmas I went over to my grandparent's house when I was about 6 and my cousins who live 18 hours away came too. It was awesome because I never get to see them.

My grandparent's old house had this amazing finished basement that was huge. There was a little kitchenette, a pool table and a lot of space to run around. I remember spending hours down their with my brother and cousins just having fun and being a kid.

I still remember staying up late that night and hoping I would see Santa. It was actually kind of funny because my cousin wanted this Barbie doll and after she told me about it, I wanted one too, but I wanted mine in the pink outfit, naturally. A classic move by me. Anyways, this was on Christmas eve so my parents didn't know I wanted the doll until the afternoon before Christmas.

That morning we woke up early and my brother, cousins, and I rushed out into the living room to see what was under the tree. We looked in our socks, but we had to wait for our parents and grandparents to get up so we could take turns opening gifts. As you can imagine, that took a while. I can't remember what I got that year, but I do remember getting that Barbie doll in the pink outfit. The box even said it was from Santa and I used that as proof that he existed. Now, looking back, I'm sure my parents had already bought me one by chance before hand because they knew my cousin was getting one or they went to the store on Christmas eve, fought through the mass of last-minute shoppers and got me that doll.

 Still, it's memories like that, that make Christmas pretty fun. Even though I'm 20 now I still get excited on Christmas eve. Of course, on Christmas day I've become the one that everyone else has to wait for. Last year my parents were the first ones awake and had to wake me up. Afterwards I wouldn't even go in the living room until I got myself a cup of coffee, but can you blame me for not being a morning person?

I enjoy Christmas eve more than Christmas day just because there's something special about that night. It's like a Friday. You know the next day starts the weekend, but it's that excitement about tomorrow that makes Friday awesome. Besides, who doesn't love sitting my a beautiful lit-up Christmas tree in a cozy room, sipping a mocha and watching "A Christmas Story" on TV?

Christmas to me is a beautiful time of the year. Sure, not everything is always perfect, but when you look back on those memories you laugh at the Christmas disasters and cherish the good memories. Even when you have an ordinary, nothing too special Christmas, it still has it's special moments. It may be more exciting as a kid, but if I ever have my own, I'll probably be the one shaking them awake and have a blast sneaking presents from Santa under the tree like a Christmas ninja. I guess Christmas is something you never fully outgrow. It's so much more than gifts and decorations and I love it.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Home for the Holidays

I've recently completed my fifth semester of college, only this one was different than my last four. I transferred and have been living in a dorm so coming "Coming Home for the Holidays" has never seemed so true.


The past three weeks have been non-stop with projects and exams to the point where it feels nice to breathe again. During that time you begin to wonder why you're there in the first place and what you expect to achieve the second you leave those halls. For me, I've always had the same dream, but I never bothered to act on it.

I knew that I wanted to travel the world, write, teach a little and do photography on the side. For some reason I've always been afraid to actually try for this dream. I continued picking majors and career options that felt like the easy thing to do. Ideas that wouldn't be too hard to achieve or would supply me with a large paycheck so I would look successful to everyone who thought I was never good enough. I was picking careers to impress people I didn't care about rather than picking one that would impress me.

I'm beginning to wonder what life would be if I did all of the things I said I wanted to do and would do. I've never wanted the whole "pick a good career and have a family" kind of life. I want an adventure.

Being at home has helped remind me of where I want to be. Being in my own room and writing brings back my memories of writing over the summer and past semesters about all of the places I wanted to go and all of the things I wanted to do. For once I feel like I'm in the right major, which is English. I want to get my masters so I can be a proffssor if I choose, but I'd also like to be a publisher or editor.

My dream, though, is to be a professional author. I want to travel with the job too and gain inspiration from different cities and countries. I also want to get back into my photography and get my own little business going with that. Nothing too fancy, but something fun and affordable.

To be honest, I haven't been in the best mood for the last month. I never could quite pinpoint the reason, but now that I've had time to clear my head I realize that it's because I'm still not where I want to be. I see all of these people following their dreams and leading exciting lives and I've done, well, nothing. 

Lately, I've felt scared of everything. I've had fears about my future in regards to my career, where I'll live, if I'll meet a guy, if I'll fail at my dreams or if I'll be happy. The truth is, you can't let that fear stop you from doing what you want to do. In the meantime I'll get my English degree, continue writing, doing photography, finding ways to start my traveling, achieving my goals and happiness and finding my place in this world.

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.