Stop Abusing Relationships

This has been bugging me for a while now. I notice the people around me, mostly what I see on Facebook, and I notice that none of them can take a relationship seriously. They all whine saying how they hate being single and how they want someone, anyone. Well they manage to find people but then the "relationship" lasts about a week. Then a few days after that breakup they're back to looking for someone new.

I have a problem with this for many reasons. The list could literally go on for an eternity but I'll just name the major ones. One, if you move on from a person that quickly then you obviously never truly cared about them. You should be in a relationship because you have a legit liking for that person and want to be with them not because you're so insecure that you can't function properly by yourself. That's not right. By doing that you're just playing with that person's heart and in the end you won't only hurt them but yourself too. That's not healthy, it's like a form of self abuse.

Second, you won't attract anyone worth being with if you're constantly complaining about your relationship status. Yes, being single isn't the best in many people's minds. It can be lonely but you have to stop looking at it that way. Being single can be great if you stop focusing so much on finding someone. If you're that desperate you'll get desperate people. You'll take whoever will have you which will never end well. Healthy, good people don't like the desperate whiners. So enjoy life, be happy, be yourself, and then when someone comes along you'll be with them for the right reasons and they'll be a better match for you. If they don't come along, who cares? You're too busy enjoying life!

Third, people will change themselves in every way possible just to win someone over. I completely disagree with that. If you keep doing that then who are you? You shouldn't change who you are from person to person. You should just be you even if that means you're a nerd, goth, emo, jock or a mixture. Just be you and don't try to completely reinvent yourself just so one person will like you and date you. If you have to become someone you're  not just to be with them then you shouldn't be with them in the first place. You need someone who accepts you for who you are and vise versa. 

Last, don't settle. Just because you're having trouble finding someone who's compatible with you and shares your feelings doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. If you settle you'll be more unhappy than if you are alone forever. At least if you remain single you won't have someone toying with your heart and making you miserable. You're your own person and if you find someone who compliments you then that's amazing! If not, whatever. Shake it off, there's so much more to life. Find a hobby, try to pursue your goals. Life moves quickly, don't waste it looking for someone to make you feel less alone. If you do that you'll never be happy. So live life and find ways to make yourself happy. Don't be lying on you deathbed regretting that you never did any of the things you wanted to. So go travel, learn guitar, finish college, be you. Don't let someone else determine who you are because in the end you're stuck with yourself.

Don't abuse relationships because you're lonely. That's selfish and just plain stupid. Most people don't take relationships seriously anymore anyways so why waste your time with it? Live life, there's a beautiful world out there if you actually look.

Soul Mates

I used to be a firm believer in soul mates. I believed that everyone had one and had a chance to meet that soul mate before they died. I just figured that maybe people got stupid or didn't treat each other right which resulted in them losing this soul mate and their one shot at true love. Now, I'm not so sure.

I do believe that people act like idiots sometimes when it comes to love. Some people don't treat each other right and play with their hearts or they just stop caring at some point. That's, sadly, a very normal thing. I don't understand why people do that. If you love that person then show them. Treat them right with kindness and respect. That's what I would do if I was in love and I'd hope he would do the same for me.

When it comes to soul mates though I still believe that everyone has one. I'm not saying that you'll end up with them or that you can't be happy with someone who isn't your soul mate. I just think that everyone has one person who is absolutely perfect for them in every way. I mean, think about it, there's billions of people out there so there has to be at least one person who is your perfect match. However, I think that not everyone has the chance to meet that person. You could live in America and your soul mate could be in England and you'll never have the chance of meeting each other.

I like to think that everyone has one shot at meeting this person. I also think that one and only shot could be easily missed and wasted. For example you could decide to go to the mall and when you arrive there your soul mate is walking out the back as your parking your car in the front, never to be seen by you again. If you arrived maybe five minutes earlier you could have had a shot, but it didn't work that way.

That's what I like to think anyway. I know that some people actually find, meet, and manage to win their soul mate. It's rare, like 1 in every 1,000,000,000 people. Still, at least it's nice to know some people are able to find it. Of course, I think you could still meet someone who is almost perfect for you. They may not be everything you wanted, wrong eye color, snores, doesn't like your favorite band, but they're still perfect for you when it comes to the things that count.

Still, finding the soul mate would be ideal.

Bucket List

I can't really sleep tonight, but I thought this would be a fun thing to do since it's a new year and everything. I made one a while ago but this one is more updated. So here goes! Hopefully I'll be able to check a lot of these off one day.

1.)Visit England
2.) Visit Australia
3.) Kiss in the rain
4.) Go to the Ocean
5.) Road trip
6.) Go to a midnight premiere of a movie I REALLY want to see
7.) Graduate college
8.) Have my own house
9.) Get out of my current town and state
10.) Meet Joel Madden
11.) Watch the sunset with a cute guy :)
12.) Slow dance outside to the car stereo (again with a cute guy)
13.) Publish a book
14.) Inspire someone
15.) Have flowers sent to me by a secret admirer (I know that one's lame, but it'd be cute)

That's all I can really think of for now. I guess most of the stuff is small, but I guess I just want to have a life filled with cute, sweet, little moments like that because those are always the memories that make me smile and that I remember. For some reason I love those little things more than the more impressive things. I guess they just make me happy and that's all I really want.

Picture Perfect

When I think about my "picture perfect" future I see myself with an incredibly cute husband, a beagle, and a cute house in a little beach town. I see myself being able to walk down the beach at sunset and look at the ocean thinking how lucky I am to be there. I see myself having a job that I enjoy, one that's helping and inspiring people in some way. I see me and my husband maybe not being rich but living comfortably. I picture a simple life, but a good one. One where I'm happy. Maybe taking a few vacations every now and then and traveling. I want to go to London and New Zealand. I want to learn to surf, kiss on the beach while listening to the waves crash around us, wake up every morning to palm trees outside my windows and my husband's face, sit on the beach and watch fireworks in the summer, feel at peace, get my husband to buy a motorcycle so we can ride around, feel lucky, no stress, no worries, no regrets.

That's what I want. I know life won't ever be perfect but I'd like to come close. I at least want to live in that cute beach town with a dog and an sweet, cute husband who will watch Batman and other stupid stuff that I love with me.

Maybe one day...

Here's to the Past

I've seen a lot of friends come and go for various reasons. I guess when most people look at the past they feel sad about the people they've lost. They see the past as this beautiful thing that can never be replayed. Those were the glory days and everything will be downhill from here on out. Nothing in the future will be as good as the past.

To that I say, you're an idiot.

I'm sorry but the past is not as perfect as you make it. Sure you'll always have good memories, that's fine to reminisce every now and then but don't make that who you are. Life doesn't stop and you have to keep moving with it. For me, I see old friends I never talk to anymore as a chapter of my life that's simply ended. Now it's time to make new chapters and you'll continue the cycle, but it's really not that bad. Personally I like to live in the present. I like to just enjoy the friends I have now and make new memories. I like to keep moving forward because there's always something better just around the corner. At least, it's been that way for me. When one thing ends a better thing usually comes along.

If you spend all your time thinking about memories, you'll miss what's in front of you now. Sure the past seems like a pretty, safe place but it's not all it's made up to be. It's over but the rest of your life isn't. So live in the now and look forward to the future. Life moves fast so keep up with it and enjoy it. It's what you make it.

Like I said, life doesn't stop and neither should you.

Music = Life

You know I've always wanted to be a singer. Ever since I was a little girl. I've always loved the stage. I'm at home up there, the longer I'm standing in front of the crowd the better. That's my moment to shine and I love it.

I've only acted in front of people, never sang. I know I'm not very gifted in that area so I've always shied away from it. I guess too if you're acting you're not yourself. You're someone else, you're hiding behind this mask so no one can really judge you. You're getting this chance to pretend you're someone else and sharing their story. It's fun. I love it.

With singing, there's no more mask. Instead of telling someone else's story, you're telling your own. You're standing up there exposing yourself and letting out every ounce of your emotions and heart to these people standing in the crowd. Music moves me. It's there for me when I have no one else. It's helped me tremendously. I swear, I don't know where I'd be without it. I used to be afraid to share my story in front of people. I didn't want them to know what my heart was singing, but now I'm not so afraid.

I want to share my story. I want people to hear my songs and be able to relate to them. I want my lyrics to reach someone and help them like so many bands have done for me. I can't live without music. It's my passion, it's the one thing I love more than anything. It's the one thing that's never let me down. It's never failed to bring me happiness. It's always let me shed my tears without judgement or comments. It's something I'll always love. I know God didn't gift me with a beautiful singing voice. I know I'm no good but sometimes I still want to live that dream. I want to be a singer. I want to share my music.

I know it sounds stupid. I don't care. I don't want to be famous. Just famous enough where I can have a comfortable living, people buying my songs, and being able to do concerts. I don't want the big mansion or anything in Beverly Hills. I just want to share my music for a living. I wish so badly I could sing. If I could have one wish, that'd be it.

The Chase

I haven't been thinking too much about love and relationships lately, but this has been on my mind on and off for the past week. The whole "chase" that happens when you get a crush on someone. I don't know everyone's situation so I'm going to open up slightly and talk from my own experience.

I know that whenever I'd get a crush on a boy I'd start to fall into this chase. The guy would do absolutely nothing but stand there looking cute and acting cool and I'd be here, this stupid teenage girl, trying so hard to get his attention and then try to win him over. In the end, it never worked because the guy never bothered to chase back. I might watch too much TV but I've noticed that the chasing that goes on there is always the guy doing sweet things to impress a girl and it always works. What bugs me is that they never show a chase from the girl's perspective because it can be just as time consuming for us too if the guy doesn't notice or care. The other day in my biology class we were talking about mating rituals between animals and my teacher was telling us about these birds where basically the males line up and the female simply chooses one of them. Of course, each male is like going crazy and doing a bunch of "look at me! look at me!" type of things. It just made me laugh that an animal's natural instinct is to chase and woo the one they like. What made me laugh even more was a guy's comment to this ritual. He first asked the teacher if these would end up being related to humans and she said "yes." Then he said, "so it's like real life where we guys have to wait and be chosen by all the girls." How terribly wrong he is, because girls have to chase as well and hope the guy we've fallen for will choose us.

Either way there always seems to be this one sided chase where the person who's fallen is trying to make the other fall as well but either their time and effort will be rewarded or they'll just end up getting their heart broken. So if chasing is almost like a natural instinct, then is it ever worth it? Should we just keep doing it because one day it'll pay off and we can be happy with that person or is it just a waste of time that should be avoided all together?

I actually like the idea of a chase. It gives the person a chance to show how much they care for the other person and to show how important they are to them. Although, I don't think it's worth it unless both sides are chasing after each other. If you're going after someone who just does not see you that way, then maybe you should rethink it. I think everyone deserves someone who's willing to go through a lot for them. If someone does not give you the time of day then find someone else because more than likely if you do win that person over eventually, it probably won't work out because their heart was never in it from the beginning and you probably just exhausted them to the point where they gave in. The same works for the other way around. If someone keeps chasing after you and you just can't return their feelings then don't date them just because you find it flattering. If you don't feel the same way then that means it's not meant to be and you shouldn't lead that person on.


I'm a terrible chaser, because I get so incredibly shy around guys I have feelings for and I don't want to embarrass myself. Although, when I say chase in this blog I don't mean just trying to get the person to notice you but rather trying to impress them. If you're impressing them, then I don't think the chase ever ends because if you really love that person then you'll always want to impress them even if you're old and married. It's not because you want to win their heart, it's because you want to show them you care. In that case I would keep chasing, and I'd hope they'd be chasing after me too even if they've already won my heart.