How do you know when you're over someone? I don't mean when you stop trying to win them over, when you just give up, or stop talking to them. I mean when your "moving on" is legit.
It's a weird concept. You can wake up one day feeling fine. The sun is out, it's warm, life is good, and you can stand up with a smile on your face ready for the day. Then, out of nowhere, you see them. Maybe it's not even that, you hear their name, their favorite song, or see a stupid Facebook status. Then all of a sudden they creep back into your mind like a ghost just haunting you. Then all those old feelings come back like unwanted friends and that feeling of being okay just disappears.
In a way it's almost funny, in a bittersweet way. Mainly because the person could be all wrong for you or the you could be all wrong for them, or maybe the circumstances could be terrible. Maybe they're in love with someone else that you know you could never compare to in their eyes...
Whatever the case, it's not easy getting over someone. People are fragile and hearts can easily be broken. The problem is you always fall for the one who doesn't share your feelings. They always see you as a friend and will never look at you twice even though you could be sitting at home crying over them.
I think you just have to remember that life goes on. It's not going to be perfect and you'll probably get your heart broken more than once, but life does go on. One day you'll either find someone who truly loves you or you'll find your own strength. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you feel like you're worth something. You are your own person and you're in charge of your future. If you need to crank up the radio and sing to a heartbreaking song, go for it. Anything to let it out and once the tears have been dried, stand back up and do something that will make you happy. Follow your goals and dreams. If you don't have any, make some!
Basically, don't let that person control you. It's going to hurt and it may take time, but smile through the pain. You can make it through this. You're a strong, independent person with a bright future. Don't ever let that go to waste and don't let that person define you. You're beautiful. Don't forget that.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Perfect
I usually have more guy friends than I do friends who are girls. Mostly because girls annoy me and I can relate better with guys because I like video games, anime, superheros, and all of that nerdy stuff they're into. When you have guy friends you actually learn a lot about boys. One thing in particular is that you learn about what their ideal girl is. I love hearing what people's ideal girlfriend/boyfriend is, but sometimes that comes with a price. When you hear a variety of guy's "perfect" girl and you never seem to fit that description, it can take it's toll. It messes you up. Even if you have no romantic feelings for the guy you just start to think, "if I don't fit any of these guy's description then will I ever fit a guy's description?"
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Stop Abusing Relationships
This has been bugging me for a while now. I notice the people around me, mostly what I see on Facebook, and I notice that none of them can take a relationship seriously. They all whine saying how they hate being single and how they want someone, anyone. Well they manage to find people but then the "relationship" lasts about a week. Then a few days after that breakup they're back to looking for someone new.
I have a problem with this for many reasons. The list could literally go on for an eternity but I'll just name the major ones. One, if you move on from a person that quickly then you obviously never truly cared about them. You should be in a relationship because you have a legit liking for that person and want to be with them not because you're so insecure that you can't function properly by yourself. That's not right. By doing that you're just playing with that person's heart and in the end you won't only hurt them but yourself too. That's not healthy, it's like a form of self abuse.
Second, you won't attract anyone worth being with if you're constantly complaining about your relationship status. Yes, being single isn't the best in many people's minds. It can be lonely but you have to stop looking at it that way. Being single can be great if you stop focusing so much on finding someone. If you're that desperate you'll get desperate people. You'll take whoever will have you which will never end well. Healthy, good people don't like the desperate whiners. So enjoy life, be happy, be yourself, and then when someone comes along you'll be with them for the right reasons and they'll be a better match for you. If they don't come along, who cares? You're too busy enjoying life!
Third, people will change themselves in every way possible just to win someone over. I completely disagree with that. If you keep doing that then who are you? You shouldn't change who you are from person to person. You should just be you even if that means you're a nerd, goth, emo, jock or a mixture. Just be you and don't try to completely reinvent yourself just so one person will like you and date you. If you have to become someone you're not just to be with them then you shouldn't be with them in the first place. You need someone who accepts you for who you are and vise versa.
Last, don't settle. Just because you're having trouble finding someone who's compatible with you and shares your feelings doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. If you settle you'll be more unhappy than if you are alone forever. At least if you remain single you won't have someone toying with your heart and making you miserable. You're your own person and if you find someone who compliments you then that's amazing! If not, whatever. Shake it off, there's so much more to life. Find a hobby, try to pursue your goals. Life moves quickly, don't waste it looking for someone to make you feel less alone. If you do that you'll never be happy. So live life and find ways to make yourself happy. Don't be lying on you deathbed regretting that you never did any of the things you wanted to. So go travel, learn guitar, finish college, be you. Don't let someone else determine who you are because in the end you're stuck with yourself.
Don't abuse relationships because you're lonely. That's selfish and just plain stupid. Most people don't take relationships seriously anymore anyways so why waste your time with it? Live life, there's a beautiful world out there if you actually look.
I have a problem with this for many reasons. The list could literally go on for an eternity but I'll just name the major ones. One, if you move on from a person that quickly then you obviously never truly cared about them. You should be in a relationship because you have a legit liking for that person and want to be with them not because you're so insecure that you can't function properly by yourself. That's not right. By doing that you're just playing with that person's heart and in the end you won't only hurt them but yourself too. That's not healthy, it's like a form of self abuse.
Second, you won't attract anyone worth being with if you're constantly complaining about your relationship status. Yes, being single isn't the best in many people's minds. It can be lonely but you have to stop looking at it that way. Being single can be great if you stop focusing so much on finding someone. If you're that desperate you'll get desperate people. You'll take whoever will have you which will never end well. Healthy, good people don't like the desperate whiners. So enjoy life, be happy, be yourself, and then when someone comes along you'll be with them for the right reasons and they'll be a better match for you. If they don't come along, who cares? You're too busy enjoying life!
Third, people will change themselves in every way possible just to win someone over. I completely disagree with that. If you keep doing that then who are you? You shouldn't change who you are from person to person. You should just be you even if that means you're a nerd, goth, emo, jock or a mixture. Just be you and don't try to completely reinvent yourself just so one person will like you and date you. If you have to become someone you're not just to be with them then you shouldn't be with them in the first place. You need someone who accepts you for who you are and vise versa.
Last, don't settle. Just because you're having trouble finding someone who's compatible with you and shares your feelings doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. If you settle you'll be more unhappy than if you are alone forever. At least if you remain single you won't have someone toying with your heart and making you miserable. You're your own person and if you find someone who compliments you then that's amazing! If not, whatever. Shake it off, there's so much more to life. Find a hobby, try to pursue your goals. Life moves quickly, don't waste it looking for someone to make you feel less alone. If you do that you'll never be happy. So live life and find ways to make yourself happy. Don't be lying on you deathbed regretting that you never did any of the things you wanted to. So go travel, learn guitar, finish college, be you. Don't let someone else determine who you are because in the end you're stuck with yourself.
Don't abuse relationships because you're lonely. That's selfish and just plain stupid. Most people don't take relationships seriously anymore anyways so why waste your time with it? Live life, there's a beautiful world out there if you actually look.
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