My whole life I've been very awkward. I'm that dorky girl who trips going up the stairs and on flat surfaces. I can't have a conversation without saying at least one incredibly stupid thing. I laugh too much when talking and I probably sound like an idiot. I get shy around new people and I have trouble starting a conversations and then holding it if the other person seems uninterested. I can get a little too excited about stupid things and I can't act "cool" to save my life. All in all, that's just who I am and I'm starting to be okay with that.
This post if for anyone else who feels awkward or feels like they don't fit in. It's okay. I used to hate myself for being such a dork. I wished that for one day I could not do something awkward or stupid, but that's not as easy as it sounds. I wanted to be one of the cool, popular girls who grabs every guy's attention. I wanted to be that girl that everyone loves and that others wanted to be like. At the end of the day, however, I'm just...me.
Sometimes I have trouble simply talking to people because I'm socially awkward. I usually say something stupid or I begin to worry that they'll think I'm weird, boring, dumb, etc. It's gotten to the point where I've been afraid of new people just because I don't know if we'll click or if they'll be nice. It's one of those things that interrupts your life.
I'm starting to just accept that I'm an awkward person. I mean, it's just another aspect of my personality so why not embrace it? I'm starting to be less hard on myself and accept that I am who I am and that's perfectly fine. I'm that awkward girly girl who loves superheroes and the United Kingdom. That's just me. I used to want to be less dorky because I assumed no guy in his right mind would want a girl like me. It's silly for anyone to think that they'll be unwanted. Even if love hasn't happened for you yet, it doesn't mean it never will.
Being awkward doesn't exclude you from anything. You need to always be honest with yourself and just be you no matter what. The world wasn't meant to be full of clones. Don't lose yourself to fit in with the crowd. Be you're awesome, awkward self and just laugh when you trip. You'll find people who love you just the way you are.
It doesn't matter if you're not that popular girl who's getting constant attention from men. I can guarantee you they're not after her for her personality and a guy like that isn't one worth having. You're beautiful in you own way and the people who recognize that are the people you want to surround yourself with. If you let your awkwardness control you like a curse then you'll miss out on so much. Some people are going to think your weird, but do their opinions really matter compared to the people you actually care about? Why try to impress people who don't appreciate you? It's silly.
Embrace the awkward, dorky side and just have fun with life. Be happy with who you are because you're an individual. Remember, awkward and proud.
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Perfect
I usually have more guy friends than I do friends who are girls. Mostly because girls annoy me and I can relate better with guys because I like video games, anime, superheros, and all of that nerdy stuff they're into. When you have guy friends you actually learn a lot about boys. One thing in particular is that you learn about what their ideal girl is. I love hearing what people's ideal girlfriend/boyfriend is, but sometimes that comes with a price. When you hear a variety of guy's "perfect" girl and you never seem to fit that description, it can take it's toll. It messes you up. Even if you have no romantic feelings for the guy you just start to think, "if I don't fit any of these guy's description then will I ever fit a guy's description?"
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunny Days
Today it's still freezing outside. I can't wait for it to be Spring again so I can walk outside in a short sleeved shirt and not freeze where I stand. Despite the terrible weather that comes with my home state, it has been really sunny lately and it got me thinking.
I love the sun, everytime it's out I just want to run outside and lay in the grass listening to my iPod because to me that's peaceful. The only thing stopping me from doing that today is the fact that it's 30 degrees outside, but I know warmer weather is coming. Soon...I hope...
My best memories take place during beautiful, sunny days. I tend to get depressed when it's cold or rainy. Even when I'm at school if the sun is out and I can see it through the windows I have a hard time concentrating because I want to be outside so badly and just walk around and enjoy it.
Right now it looks beautiful outside but it's torturing me because I know it's freezing, but it's almost March so I know it has to come soon right? Basically the whole point of this rambling blog is that I've been an emo kid lately and it's finally starting to annoy me more than it's probably annoying other people. I guess when I look outside and at the sun it reminds me that even though it's cold right now there's still something better to come and I just need to stop wasting my time being upset over things that aren't even a big deal. I guess I'm just impatient for the future because I'll be transferring in the Fall to a school I'm extremely excited to attend and I'll finally leave my old town behind and hopefully be closer to going where I want to go.
I can't promise myself that I'll be super happy tomorrow or next week, but I can at least stop being emo and start looking at the brighter side. I know life can suck sometimes and it's not perfect but I'd rather waste my time being somewhat happy than being sad and bitter then waking up one day realizing that my life passed me by and I did nothing to make it worth something. I'll agree that sometimes you can be let down when you remain optimistic but this isn't getting my hopes up for something amazing, it's just being content and trying to find new ways to enjoy life. Besides I'd rather take a risk at being happy then staying at home all day moping but never doing anything about it. Life moves fast, I'd rather not miss it because you only get one.
I love the sun, everytime it's out I just want to run outside and lay in the grass listening to my iPod because to me that's peaceful. The only thing stopping me from doing that today is the fact that it's 30 degrees outside, but I know warmer weather is coming. Soon...I hope...
My best memories take place during beautiful, sunny days. I tend to get depressed when it's cold or rainy. Even when I'm at school if the sun is out and I can see it through the windows I have a hard time concentrating because I want to be outside so badly and just walk around and enjoy it.
Right now it looks beautiful outside but it's torturing me because I know it's freezing, but it's almost March so I know it has to come soon right? Basically the whole point of this rambling blog is that I've been an emo kid lately and it's finally starting to annoy me more than it's probably annoying other people. I guess when I look outside and at the sun it reminds me that even though it's cold right now there's still something better to come and I just need to stop wasting my time being upset over things that aren't even a big deal. I guess I'm just impatient for the future because I'll be transferring in the Fall to a school I'm extremely excited to attend and I'll finally leave my old town behind and hopefully be closer to going where I want to go.
I can't promise myself that I'll be super happy tomorrow or next week, but I can at least stop being emo and start looking at the brighter side. I know life can suck sometimes and it's not perfect but I'd rather waste my time being somewhat happy than being sad and bitter then waking up one day realizing that my life passed me by and I did nothing to make it worth something. I'll agree that sometimes you can be let down when you remain optimistic but this isn't getting my hopes up for something amazing, it's just being content and trying to find new ways to enjoy life. Besides I'd rather take a risk at being happy then staying at home all day moping but never doing anything about it. Life moves fast, I'd rather not miss it because you only get one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)