My whole life I've been very awkward. I'm that dorky girl who trips going up the stairs and on flat surfaces. I can't have a conversation without saying at least one incredibly stupid thing. I laugh too much when talking and I probably sound like an idiot. I get shy around new people and I have trouble starting a conversations and then holding it if the other person seems uninterested. I can get a little too excited about stupid things and I can't act "cool" to save my life. All in all, that's just who I am and I'm starting to be okay with that.
This post if for anyone else who feels awkward or feels like they don't fit in. It's okay. I used to hate myself for being such a dork. I wished that for one day I could not do something awkward or stupid, but that's not as easy as it sounds. I wanted to be one of the cool, popular girls who grabs every guy's attention. I wanted to be that girl that everyone loves and that others wanted to be like. At the end of the day, however, I'm just...me.
Sometimes I have trouble simply talking to people because I'm socially awkward. I usually say something stupid or I begin to worry that they'll think I'm weird, boring, dumb, etc. It's gotten to the point where I've been afraid of new people just because I don't know if we'll click or if they'll be nice. It's one of those things that interrupts your life.
I'm starting to just accept that I'm an awkward person. I mean, it's just another aspect of my personality so why not embrace it? I'm starting to be less hard on myself and accept that I am who I am and that's perfectly fine. I'm that awkward girly girl who loves superheroes and the United Kingdom. That's just me. I used to want to be less dorky because I assumed no guy in his right mind would want a girl like me. It's silly for anyone to think that they'll be unwanted. Even if love hasn't happened for you yet, it doesn't mean it never will.
Being awkward doesn't exclude you from anything. You need to always be honest with yourself and just be you no matter what. The world wasn't meant to be full of clones. Don't lose yourself to fit in with the crowd. Be you're awesome, awkward self and just laugh when you trip. You'll find people who love you just the way you are.
It doesn't matter if you're not that popular girl who's getting constant attention from men. I can guarantee you they're not after her for her personality and a guy like that isn't one worth having. You're beautiful in you own way and the people who recognize that are the people you want to surround yourself with. If you let your awkwardness control you like a curse then you'll miss out on so much. Some people are going to think your weird, but do their opinions really matter compared to the people you actually care about? Why try to impress people who don't appreciate you? It's silly.
Embrace the awkward, dorky side and just have fun with life. Be happy with who you are because you're an individual. Remember, awkward and proud.
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
What's wrong with just being you?
It's funny how much you change after high school, even if it doesn't seem obvious. In some ways I haven't changed at all, in others I've become unrecognizable to myself, but in a good way.
I've always been into things that are considered "geeky," or "nerdy." For example, superheros, video games, books, and anime. To me these things aren't weird, they're just things that are a part of a long list of stuff I love along with the United Kingdom, frappes, and music. They're simply my interests that make me part of who I am.
In high school I never acted like myself. I was always afraid to be myself because I didn't want people to think I was weird for the things that I liked. Looking back, I doubt many people would care that I love Batman and that most of my favorite movies are about superheroes. They would just shrug and say, "cool." When you're that age though, you assume everyone will judge you for anything. At least I did and that was incredibly stupid of me.
I think the biggest problem was the group of people I chose to hang out with. To my friends at that time if I started to go on about a superhero they'd just look at me weird or make fun of me. To them that was seen as lame and nerdy. To a lot of people it seems that way and because of that I wouldn't talk about the things that I loved. I would just talk more about clothes or music. Granted, I do love that stuff too but the thing was I wasn't letting out my whole personality. I kept quiet so my friends at the time wouldn't find more things to criticize me about. The sad thing was I couldn't even talk about my music all the time because none of them liked it and thought I was weird for my music taste as well. That was because I don't like "popular" songs. I hate a lot of the songs you constantly hear on the radio. Give me some Good Charlotte or All Time Low and I'm happy.
Also, I didn't care if they liked a certain type of music or movie because that's what made them unique. In the end I tried to hide myself in order to hold on to people, who in the end, weren't worth holding onto and had no desire to hold onto me. Now that I have different friends and I'm out of high school I feel like I can finally just be me. Even if who I am is a geeky dork. It's okay, because once you stop pretending to fit in you find people who like the real you. That alone is one of the greatest things you can have.
I've always been into things that are considered "geeky," or "nerdy." For example, superheros, video games, books, and anime. To me these things aren't weird, they're just things that are a part of a long list of stuff I love along with the United Kingdom, frappes, and music. They're simply my interests that make me part of who I am.
In high school I never acted like myself. I was always afraid to be myself because I didn't want people to think I was weird for the things that I liked. Looking back, I doubt many people would care that I love Batman and that most of my favorite movies are about superheroes. They would just shrug and say, "cool." When you're that age though, you assume everyone will judge you for anything. At least I did and that was incredibly stupid of me.
I think the biggest problem was the group of people I chose to hang out with. To my friends at that time if I started to go on about a superhero they'd just look at me weird or make fun of me. To them that was seen as lame and nerdy. To a lot of people it seems that way and because of that I wouldn't talk about the things that I loved. I would just talk more about clothes or music. Granted, I do love that stuff too but the thing was I wasn't letting out my whole personality. I kept quiet so my friends at the time wouldn't find more things to criticize me about. The sad thing was I couldn't even talk about my music all the time because none of them liked it and thought I was weird for my music taste as well. That was because I don't like "popular" songs. I hate a lot of the songs you constantly hear on the radio. Give me some Good Charlotte or All Time Low and I'm happy.
Also, I didn't care if they liked a certain type of music or movie because that's what made them unique. In the end I tried to hide myself in order to hold on to people, who in the end, weren't worth holding onto and had no desire to hold onto me. Now that I have different friends and I'm out of high school I feel like I can finally just be me. Even if who I am is a geeky dork. It's okay, because once you stop pretending to fit in you find people who like the real you. That alone is one of the greatest things you can have.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Getting Over Someone
How do you know when you're over someone? I don't mean when you stop trying to win them over, when you just give up, or stop talking to them. I mean when your "moving on" is legit.
It's a weird concept. You can wake up one day feeling fine. The sun is out, it's warm, life is good, and you can stand up with a smile on your face ready for the day. Then, out of nowhere, you see them. Maybe it's not even that, you hear their name, their favorite song, or see a stupid Facebook status. Then all of a sudden they creep back into your mind like a ghost just haunting you. Then all those old feelings come back like unwanted friends and that feeling of being okay just disappears.
In a way it's almost funny, in a bittersweet way. Mainly because the person could be all wrong for you or the you could be all wrong for them, or maybe the circumstances could be terrible. Maybe they're in love with someone else that you know you could never compare to in their eyes...
Whatever the case, it's not easy getting over someone. People are fragile and hearts can easily be broken. The problem is you always fall for the one who doesn't share your feelings. They always see you as a friend and will never look at you twice even though you could be sitting at home crying over them.
I think you just have to remember that life goes on. It's not going to be perfect and you'll probably get your heart broken more than once, but life does go on. One day you'll either find someone who truly loves you or you'll find your own strength. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you feel like you're worth something. You are your own person and you're in charge of your future. If you need to crank up the radio and sing to a heartbreaking song, go for it. Anything to let it out and once the tears have been dried, stand back up and do something that will make you happy. Follow your goals and dreams. If you don't have any, make some!
Basically, don't let that person control you. It's going to hurt and it may take time, but smile through the pain. You can make it through this. You're a strong, independent person with a bright future. Don't ever let that go to waste and don't let that person define you. You're beautiful. Don't forget that.
It's a weird concept. You can wake up one day feeling fine. The sun is out, it's warm, life is good, and you can stand up with a smile on your face ready for the day. Then, out of nowhere, you see them. Maybe it's not even that, you hear their name, their favorite song, or see a stupid Facebook status. Then all of a sudden they creep back into your mind like a ghost just haunting you. Then all those old feelings come back like unwanted friends and that feeling of being okay just disappears.
In a way it's almost funny, in a bittersweet way. Mainly because the person could be all wrong for you or the you could be all wrong for them, or maybe the circumstances could be terrible. Maybe they're in love with someone else that you know you could never compare to in their eyes...
Whatever the case, it's not easy getting over someone. People are fragile and hearts can easily be broken. The problem is you always fall for the one who doesn't share your feelings. They always see you as a friend and will never look at you twice even though you could be sitting at home crying over them.
I think you just have to remember that life goes on. It's not going to be perfect and you'll probably get your heart broken more than once, but life does go on. One day you'll either find someone who truly loves you or you'll find your own strength. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you feel like you're worth something. You are your own person and you're in charge of your future. If you need to crank up the radio and sing to a heartbreaking song, go for it. Anything to let it out and once the tears have been dried, stand back up and do something that will make you happy. Follow your goals and dreams. If you don't have any, make some!
Basically, don't let that person control you. It's going to hurt and it may take time, but smile through the pain. You can make it through this. You're a strong, independent person with a bright future. Don't ever let that go to waste and don't let that person define you. You're beautiful. Don't forget that.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Perfect
I usually have more guy friends than I do friends who are girls. Mostly because girls annoy me and I can relate better with guys because I like video games, anime, superheros, and all of that nerdy stuff they're into. When you have guy friends you actually learn a lot about boys. One thing in particular is that you learn about what their ideal girl is. I love hearing what people's ideal girlfriend/boyfriend is, but sometimes that comes with a price. When you hear a variety of guy's "perfect" girl and you never seem to fit that description, it can take it's toll. It messes you up. Even if you have no romantic feelings for the guy you just start to think, "if I don't fit any of these guy's description then will I ever fit a guy's description?"
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
At first you feel like apologizing for not fitting anyone's little picture of being perfect, but then you're realize how stupid that is. You shouldn't have to apologize because you don't like their kind of music, or dress the way they like, or look the way they want their girl to look. Why should you apologize because you're not a size 0 or because you don't have beautiful blue eyes?
It's just hard to do that sometimes because after years and years of never being "perfect" for someone you start to lose yourself. You start to label yourself as "not good enough" only because you were never the girl any of those guys wanted even if you didn't want the guy.
It hurts a lot, but I don't think you should let it control you. It's amazing how guys or girls can mess with you so badly. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, but sometimes it feels like it makes you weaker. You get to a point where you don't even want to try anymore because you don't think your heart can take another beating and it's hard to even stand up anymore and keep walking. You become afraid and timid.
I think sometimes you need to sulk. To just let it out because it's better than hiding it and letting it gnaw at you. I believe that no matter how broken you feel, that one day you'll be okay again. It might take a few days, weeks or months. Even if it takes a year, I think one day you'll wake up and you'll be okay. And once that happens you'll be able to continue walking because feelings are temporary. Nothing is ever permanent.
I know I'm "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I know I don't fit anyone's description of the perfect girl yet and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I just don't feel like apologizing for it anymore because the guys are never my ideal either. I just hope one day I'll meet a cute guy who likes girls that are a little dorky, watch anime, play video games, want to travel, like punk, alternative and screamo music, would watch the Dark Knight over the Notebook any day, love dogs, say really stupid things, are a little girly, love the beach, and actually care about their future and where they're going. One who will be there for him whenever he needs her, won't play games, and won't abuse the relationship. Maybe I'll find that guy, just maybe...
But to everyone out there who's been in the same boat, don't let it define you. Never feel that you're not good enough, because that's not true. Always be true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve. Let yourself have a sulking period and then pick yourself back up. Stay positive and do what makes you happy and one day someone will come along who finds you absolutely amazing. :)
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