Sunny Days

Today it's still freezing outside. I can't wait for it to be Spring again so I can walk outside in a short sleeved shirt and not freeze where I stand. Despite the terrible weather that comes with my home state, it has been really sunny lately and it got me thinking.

I love the sun, everytime it's out I just want to run outside and lay in the grass listening to my iPod because to me that's peaceful. The only thing stopping me from doing that today is the fact that it's 30 degrees outside, but I know warmer weather is coming. Soon...I hope...

My best memories take place during beautiful, sunny days. I tend to get depressed when it's cold  or rainy. Even when I'm at school if the sun is out and I can see it through the windows I have a hard time concentrating because I want to be outside so badly and just walk around and enjoy it.

Right now it looks beautiful outside but it's torturing me because I know it's freezing, but it's almost March so I know it has to come soon right? Basically the whole point of this rambling blog is that I've been an emo kid lately and it's finally starting to annoy me more than it's probably annoying other people. I guess when I look outside and at the sun it reminds me that even though it's cold right now there's still something better to come and I just need to stop wasting my time being upset over things that aren't even a big deal. I guess I'm just impatient for the future because I'll be transferring in the Fall to a school I'm extremely excited to attend and I'll finally leave my old town behind and hopefully be closer to going where I want to go.

I can't promise myself that I'll be super happy tomorrow or next week, but I can at least stop being emo and start looking at the brighter side. I know life can suck sometimes and it's not perfect but I'd rather waste my time being somewhat happy than being sad and bitter then waking up one day realizing that my life passed me by and I did nothing to make it worth something. I'll agree that sometimes you can be let down when you remain optimistic but this isn't getting my hopes up for something amazing, it's just being content and trying to find new ways to enjoy life. Besides I'd rather take a risk at being happy then staying at home all day moping but never doing anything about it. Life moves fast, I'd rather not miss it because you only get one.

When Boredome Strikes...

So I was thinking about life, that's what happens when I finish all my homework and I literally have nothing better to do. Anyways not long ago I had someone ask me what my "perfect" guy was. Lately I stopped trying to think of the perfect guy because I don't think there's such a thing since we're all human. Besides he won't be getting a perfect girl with me. Still, it's kind of fun to think of your dream guy. It shows what your tastes are and helps you not to settle so much when it comes to dating.

For me, I guess my perfect guy would have brown skater boy hair, plays guitar, blue eyes, intelligent, sweet, loves dogs, can make me laugh, out going, fun to be around, optimistic, watches anime, likes Batman, wants to travel, cares about school, means what he says, keeps his promises, romantic, loves me for me, great taste in music (screamo, alternative, metal, rock), spontaneous, has good grammar, rides a motorcycle, wants to live near the ocean, rides ATV's, can sing, dresses kind of skaterboyish, smiles a lot, is serious when he needs to be, will watch dumb movies and act like a dork, tall, cute, smells good, nice arms, and someone who's easy to talk to.

I guess that looks like a lot but oh well. This is just for fun. :)

Stop Abusing Relationships

This has been bugging me for a while now. I notice the people around me, mostly what I see on Facebook, and I notice that none of them can take a relationship seriously. They all whine saying how they hate being single and how they want someone, anyone. Well they manage to find people but then the "relationship" lasts about a week. Then a few days after that breakup they're back to looking for someone new.

I have a problem with this for many reasons. The list could literally go on for an eternity but I'll just name the major ones. One, if you move on from a person that quickly then you obviously never truly cared about them. You should be in a relationship because you have a legit liking for that person and want to be with them not because you're so insecure that you can't function properly by yourself. That's not right. By doing that you're just playing with that person's heart and in the end you won't only hurt them but yourself too. That's not healthy, it's like a form of self abuse.

Second, you won't attract anyone worth being with if you're constantly complaining about your relationship status. Yes, being single isn't the best in many people's minds. It can be lonely but you have to stop looking at it that way. Being single can be great if you stop focusing so much on finding someone. If you're that desperate you'll get desperate people. You'll take whoever will have you which will never end well. Healthy, good people don't like the desperate whiners. So enjoy life, be happy, be yourself, and then when someone comes along you'll be with them for the right reasons and they'll be a better match for you. If they don't come along, who cares? You're too busy enjoying life!

Third, people will change themselves in every way possible just to win someone over. I completely disagree with that. If you keep doing that then who are you? You shouldn't change who you are from person to person. You should just be you even if that means you're a nerd, goth, emo, jock or a mixture. Just be you and don't try to completely reinvent yourself just so one person will like you and date you. If you have to become someone you're  not just to be with them then you shouldn't be with them in the first place. You need someone who accepts you for who you are and vise versa. 

Last, don't settle. Just because you're having trouble finding someone who's compatible with you and shares your feelings doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. If you settle you'll be more unhappy than if you are alone forever. At least if you remain single you won't have someone toying with your heart and making you miserable. You're your own person and if you find someone who compliments you then that's amazing! If not, whatever. Shake it off, there's so much more to life. Find a hobby, try to pursue your goals. Life moves quickly, don't waste it looking for someone to make you feel less alone. If you do that you'll never be happy. So live life and find ways to make yourself happy. Don't be lying on you deathbed regretting that you never did any of the things you wanted to. So go travel, learn guitar, finish college, be you. Don't let someone else determine who you are because in the end you're stuck with yourself.

Don't abuse relationships because you're lonely. That's selfish and just plain stupid. Most people don't take relationships seriously anymore anyways so why waste your time with it? Live life, there's a beautiful world out there if you actually look.

Soul Mates

I used to be a firm believer in soul mates. I believed that everyone had one and had a chance to meet that soul mate before they died. I just figured that maybe people got stupid or didn't treat each other right which resulted in them losing this soul mate and their one shot at true love. Now, I'm not so sure.

I do believe that people act like idiots sometimes when it comes to love. Some people don't treat each other right and play with their hearts or they just stop caring at some point. That's, sadly, a very normal thing. I don't understand why people do that. If you love that person then show them. Treat them right with kindness and respect. That's what I would do if I was in love and I'd hope he would do the same for me.

When it comes to soul mates though I still believe that everyone has one. I'm not saying that you'll end up with them or that you can't be happy with someone who isn't your soul mate. I just think that everyone has one person who is absolutely perfect for them in every way. I mean, think about it, there's billions of people out there so there has to be at least one person who is your perfect match. However, I think that not everyone has the chance to meet that person. You could live in America and your soul mate could be in England and you'll never have the chance of meeting each other.

I like to think that everyone has one shot at meeting this person. I also think that one and only shot could be easily missed and wasted. For example you could decide to go to the mall and when you arrive there your soul mate is walking out the back as your parking your car in the front, never to be seen by you again. If you arrived maybe five minutes earlier you could have had a shot, but it didn't work that way.

That's what I like to think anyway. I know that some people actually find, meet, and manage to win their soul mate. It's rare, like 1 in every 1,000,000,000 people. Still, at least it's nice to know some people are able to find it. Of course, I think you could still meet someone who is almost perfect for you. They may not be everything you wanted, wrong eye color, snores, doesn't like your favorite band, but they're still perfect for you when it comes to the things that count.

Still, finding the soul mate would be ideal.

Bucket List

I can't really sleep tonight, but I thought this would be a fun thing to do since it's a new year and everything. I made one a while ago but this one is more updated. So here goes! Hopefully I'll be able to check a lot of these off one day.

1.)Visit England
2.) Visit Australia
3.) Kiss in the rain
4.) Go to the Ocean
5.) Road trip
6.) Go to a midnight premiere of a movie I REALLY want to see
7.) Graduate college
8.) Have my own house
9.) Get out of my current town and state
10.) Meet Joel Madden
11.) Watch the sunset with a cute guy :)
12.) Slow dance outside to the car stereo (again with a cute guy)
13.) Publish a book
14.) Inspire someone
15.) Have flowers sent to me by a secret admirer (I know that one's lame, but it'd be cute)

That's all I can really think of for now. I guess most of the stuff is small, but I guess I just want to have a life filled with cute, sweet, little moments like that because those are always the memories that make me smile and that I remember. For some reason I love those little things more than the more impressive things. I guess they just make me happy and that's all I really want.

Picture Perfect

When I think about my "picture perfect" future I see myself with an incredibly cute husband, a beagle, and a cute house in a little beach town. I see myself being able to walk down the beach at sunset and look at the ocean thinking how lucky I am to be there. I see myself having a job that I enjoy, one that's helping and inspiring people in some way. I see me and my husband maybe not being rich but living comfortably. I picture a simple life, but a good one. One where I'm happy. Maybe taking a few vacations every now and then and traveling. I want to go to London and New Zealand. I want to learn to surf, kiss on the beach while listening to the waves crash around us, wake up every morning to palm trees outside my windows and my husband's face, sit on the beach and watch fireworks in the summer, feel at peace, get my husband to buy a motorcycle so we can ride around, feel lucky, no stress, no worries, no regrets.

That's what I want. I know life won't ever be perfect but I'd like to come close. I at least want to live in that cute beach town with a dog and an sweet, cute husband who will watch Batman and other stupid stuff that I love with me.

Maybe one day...

Here's to the Past

I've seen a lot of friends come and go for various reasons. I guess when most people look at the past they feel sad about the people they've lost. They see the past as this beautiful thing that can never be replayed. Those were the glory days and everything will be downhill from here on out. Nothing in the future will be as good as the past.

To that I say, you're an idiot.

I'm sorry but the past is not as perfect as you make it. Sure you'll always have good memories, that's fine to reminisce every now and then but don't make that who you are. Life doesn't stop and you have to keep moving with it. For me, I see old friends I never talk to anymore as a chapter of my life that's simply ended. Now it's time to make new chapters and you'll continue the cycle, but it's really not that bad. Personally I like to live in the present. I like to just enjoy the friends I have now and make new memories. I like to keep moving forward because there's always something better just around the corner. At least, it's been that way for me. When one thing ends a better thing usually comes along.

If you spend all your time thinking about memories, you'll miss what's in front of you now. Sure the past seems like a pretty, safe place but it's not all it's made up to be. It's over but the rest of your life isn't. So live in the now and look forward to the future. Life moves fast so keep up with it and enjoy it. It's what you make it.

Like I said, life doesn't stop and neither should you.