I get knocked down, but I get up again

I wanted to take a moment and do a blog about bullying and how to handle it.

I was bullied on and off from kindergarten up to 12th grade. It was by different people from different cliques, not one core group of people who hated me for no reason. Most of the time they made fun of my hair because it was long, puffy and frizzy. I got called a lot of names for that. They also mocked the clothes I wore, the way my teeth look, my acne and my appearance in general. I've been called ugly, fat, weird, ditzy, you name it.

I was so angry for a long time because of this. I often ate lunch alone because of it and the sad part was, most of the bullying came from my friends. It's a terrible feeling and you can't help but believe that the world is against you.

Things change eventually and after a while they just go away and you learn how to stop listening to them. Their comments don't define who you are. No one should be made fun of for the way they look or for anything. It's been two years since high school and I feel better about myself. All of those bad memories faded into the background and gave me room to make new and happier ones. 

Sometimes they still hurt when I think about them, but I remember that I'm a different person now. You can't let them break you, you have to use it as an opportunity to grow and become stronger. Start believing in yourself and hold your head up high. Some people are jerks and they'll try to hurt you and when that happens all you have to do is live your life. Go on and do great things and prove to them that you're above their ridiculous remarks.

Remember to be yourself and to be a good person. Not everyone will appreciate you for it, but that's okay. At the end of the day their opinions don't matter. The ones who truly care about you will and that's all that matters.

 "May my enemies live a long life to see my success."

Getting Over Someone

How do you know when you're over someone? I don't mean when you stop trying to win them over, when you just give up, or stop talking to them. I mean when your "moving on" is legit.

It's a weird concept. You can wake up one day feeling fine. The sun is out, it's warm, life is good, and you can stand up with a smile on your face ready for the day. Then, out of nowhere, you see them. Maybe it's not even that, you hear their name, their favorite song, or see a stupid Facebook status. Then all of a sudden they creep back into your mind like a ghost just haunting you. Then all those old feelings come back like unwanted friends and that feeling of being okay just disappears.

In a way it's almost funny, in a bittersweet way. Mainly because the person could be all wrong for you or the you could be all wrong for them, or maybe the circumstances could be terrible. Maybe they're in love with someone else that you know you could never compare to in their eyes...

Whatever the case, it's not easy getting over someone. People are fragile and hearts can easily be broken. The problem is you always fall for the one who doesn't share your feelings. They always see you as a friend and will never look at you twice even though you could be sitting at home crying over them.

I think you just have to remember that life goes on. It's not going to be perfect and you'll probably get your heart broken more than once, but life does go on. One day you'll either find someone who truly loves you or you'll find your own strength. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you feel like you're worth something. You are your own person and you're in charge of your future. If you need to crank up the radio and sing to a heartbreaking song, go for it. Anything to let it out and once the tears have been dried, stand back up and do something that will make you happy. Follow your goals and dreams. If you don't have any, make some!

Basically, don't let that person control you. It's going to hurt and it may take time, but smile through the pain. You can make it through this. You're a strong, independent person with a bright future. Don't ever let that go to waste and don't let that person define you. You're beautiful. Don't forget that.

The Zombie Theory

Have you ever noticed that when you become depressed for a long amount of time your whole personality changes. I don't just mean the obvious you go from being happy to sad, I mean everything. The old you slowly disappears and what's left is this soulless corpse. You basically become a zombie.

You're not yourself anymore, you can't function properly, you go around trying to steel or destroy other people's hearts and brains because you can't find yours anymore. You're brain becomes so dysfunctional that you can't even form words anymore and all that comes out are meaningless moans. You stop enjoying the sunlight so you're skin becomes pale and and the stress you've given yourself draws premature wrinkles on your face. The lack of sleep gives you dark circles under your eyes as they stare off into space looking cold and dead.

Some people will try to save you, but you push them away. You'll spread your disease onto a few others who will also become zombies. A few will try to hurt you even more and some will succeed. Some lose all hope, saying there is no cure.

There's always a cure. It just takes time to work properly.

Don't become a zombie. It might feel easy to give in and become a walking corpse. Zombies have felt death. Something killed them, stole their hearts and brains, but they're still alive. They're moving and breathing, but they have no motivation or hope. Yet, they're alive. Just because something kills you on the inside doesn't mean you should walk around like you're dead. Life is still going on for you and you need to take advantage of that. Find a cure for you're sadness and become a human again.

Zombies look pretty cool in the movies, but being one just isn't worth it. Why do you think those people fight for their lives and try not the catch the disease?

Exactly.