I've been told by people that they thought I was emo, goth, stuck up, and a druggie before they actually knew me all because I didn't talk... No I'm not emo. Yes I recently got side bangs that cover one of my eyes if I let them but that's not because I'm emo, I just like the style. Yes I wear black sometimes and will paint my nails black because they match everything but I'm not goth. I'm not stuck up and I've never done drugs. Anyone who's spent at least ten minutes talking to me will find all of this out pretty quickly because that's not me. At first I'd take offense to this but then I began to realize that if you don't talk then no one can really see who you really are. They have nothing to go by except for a few physical things. I know this because I've done the exact same thing but I'm pretty nice on judging shy people because I am one. I just wish people didn't assume the worst when it comes to people who don't talk much.
There really is no explanation to why I'm shy. I just am. I didn't have any traumatic events in my childhood or anything else that could create my shyness. It's just one of those traits I naturally have. I'm not someone who can walk up to random people in my class and start a conversation. If they speak to me then that's awesome and I'll gladly talk back but I'm not one to make the first move. It's a pain, I won't lie. I wish I could be more outgoing like a lot of the people I see at college and just out and about but I can't. I can be talkative and out going when I'm around my friends, that's no problem but when it comes to people I don't know I just keep to myself. I've also been told I look mean since I don't talk but I don't have anything against these people. I just don't have anything interesting to say. Also, I do get slightly nervous around unfamiliar faces just because I don't know who they are, if they're nice, if they're cool, or if I'll bug them or not. If I have to talk to people I don't know then I will, it's not like I'll die but if I don't have to then I won't.
I just wish people would give us shy ones a break. I would love to be outgoing, I really would, but it's not me. I've had people bluntly tell me, "don't be shy." Well, it's not that easy. Of course it could be worse but the shyness I have is interwoven into my personality so it's a part of who I am. It's just not all of me and when I do get to know someone, it's hard to keep my mouth shut on some occasions. To be honest, I don't have a problem being shy. It can be bothersome at times but as I said, it's just a part of me. I am getting better but I know I'll never be one of those extremely outgoing people which is completely fine with me because I like to stay a little more reserved.
My main problem is that being shy seems to allow people to make up whatever they want about you and sometimes their "made up" you isn't all that great. Shy people can be pretty cool, they're not all secret drug dealers. Really it all goes back to judging a book by it's cover. I try extremely hard not to do this but it's difficult. That could go into another conversation completely which I'll save for another blog.
As for shy people, we're just shy. We're not mean, emo, stuck-up drug dealers. We can be pretty cool, we're just quiet at first.
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