When I grow up...

Being in my second year of college I always thought I'd have life figured out by this point. I pictured knowing exactly what I wanted to do, know where I was going to live, and how I was going to spend the rest of my life. I always thought that once high school was over you just jumped into the real world, your real life, and there would be nothing left to figure out.

Now I know I was wrong. I was talking about this with one of my friends today. We were saying how when you're a kid you think you have your entire life planned out. You see a ten year-old and ask what they want to be when they grow up and they know exactly what they want to be with no doubt in their mind. They'll say, "I'm going to college and become a doctor!" or "I'll be a rock star!" or "I'm gonna be Batman!" Of course you know that they'll change their minds a million times before they even reach college and that a few of those careers won't happen but to them that's what they see themselves doing in 20 years. I told my friend that I used to think every question to life would be answered after I got out of high school but it seems like more questions keep coming.

Right now I know what I'd like to do, where I'd like to transfer, and that I want to succeed and make the most of life but I also know that any of that could change. In fact right now I'm considering changing my major yet again. I know I want to do teaching and I'm currently an English major but I've also discovered a new love: history. I'm starting to see myself teaching about the making of our country, the events of past decades, and telling them these amazing and true stories. Then again I can also see myself teaching English and sharing these amazing stories written by amazing and talented people. It's hard to choose. Even when I was graduating high school everyone asked me, "what are you going to do now?" I'd give them the usual answer. The whole, "I'm going here but I plan on transferring after two years to here, blah blah blah." Inside I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had ideas but none that I could stick with. People would tell me to do what I was good at but honestly I couldn't think of anything I was good at. I didn't have any talents and there were so many jobs that had no appeal to me. Again the only thing I could think of was teaching, that I was good at English, and that I loved writing.

Right now I'm still young. I realize that I don't need to know every little answer, but I feel that I should have a sense of direction. Actually right now I feel that I'm doing good. I know that I want to finish college, be able to study abroad once I transfer, keep writing, teach, and I know that I'm willing to work hard for all of this. Honestly right now, I think that's good enough. Answers don't come easy and the questions will never end but life would be pretty boring if you had it all figured out.